If your having trouble figuring out chord progressions and keys to songs by ear, try another appraoch.........learn the theory of where chords come from, how they relate to each other, and how scales apply to chords. It isn't really all that difficult, and it will train your ear to hear progressions and identify keys. A little knowledge will get you a long way.

As far as what your teacher showed you before as being too limiting......it takes time to be a good improvisor. The problem I find with most students is that they want to run before they can walk. This sense of over eagerness usually leads to frustration. I find there are 3 steps in utilizing a scale successfully, 1) you must 1st technically master the scale on the fretboard, you must be able to play through the scale at a decent speed without being able to think about where your fingers go. 2) You must be able to hear the scale. If you can sing the scale, you can hear the scale. 3) Being able to identify where the sounds or "licks" are within the scale that you are hearing within your head.

Be patient, it is a neverending learning process. Knowledge is the key for expanding your musical vocabulary. Lessons do work. Try out different teachers until you find one that suites your needs, save your "beasty instincts" for your girlfriend.